Written by Merv (Burnie Brae Support at Home Client)

Letting go and accepting help with showering and dressing is difficult for men, as there is often reluctance both in asking for help and in actually receiving it. I personally experienced difficulties letting go and accepting help with daily tasks. I hope that by sharing my experience, other Burnie Brae clients—particularly men—may feel less reluctant to seek and accept support.

Anyone who remembers landline telephones, outback toilets, or receiving written letters would probably belong to the same generation as my wife and me—the Baby Boomers!

My wife and I were born after the Second World War, when the country was just starting to recover after six long years of despair, uncertainty, and loss of friends and relatives due to military service. We like to think that these hard times brought resilience and the ability to make do with what we had. We grew up with the philosophy of not complaining, working hard, and doing things for ourselves.

I was a tradesperson for all my working life, participating in various licensed occupations including electrician, sewage treatment plant operator, boiler operator, and finally shift maintenance for a hospital laundry. All these roles involved hard physical work and took a toll on my body.

In 2015, I had to take forced retirement due to back pain and a variety of other ailments. Retirement did not come easily, as I had no time to plan or adjust. One day I went to work as usual, and the next I was “let go” because I could no longer perform my work. Letting go of a daily work routine was difficult and, to an extent, depressing.

Being from the Baby Boomer generation, I gradually adjusted by finding new interests to keep myself occupied. Little did I know that an even bigger “letting go” challenge was approaching.

In 2017, the effects of many years of hard work finally caught up with me. My body, which had served me well, was starting to fail. Severe back pain, joint pain, and other age-related changes began to make everyday tasks difficult. Like many of us, advancing age brought loss of muscle mass, failing eyesight, and reduced hearing—the joys of growing older!

After multiple falls, it became necessary to have an assessment for consideration of a Home Care Package [now Support at Home]. My true “letting go” moment came when I was forced to accept help with showering and dressing—tasks I had managed independently all my life.

As the years have passed—they seem to gallop by—I have found that I can no longer do many things I could easily manage five years ago. My mind may say “I can do this,” but my body says “no.” Advancing age, declining strength, a diagnosis of type 2 diabetes, and a stroke in 2023 brought many more “letting go” moments: adjusting to a walking stick, then a wheeled walker, and finally a wheelchair and mobility scooter. Each of these situations was difficult to accept.

I had no choice but to adjust, but Burnie Brae Home Care was there every step of the way. When I needed more assistance, it was provided. When I needed more equipment, it was provided—funds permitting.

In conclusion, “letting go” is hard, and no doubt many other Burnie Brae clients have had similar experiences. By letting go and accepting help from Burnie Brae Care Workers, I have received the most wonderful gift: the gift of time—precious time I can spend with my wife in our own home before eventually moving into an aged care facility.

Pictured: Merv & his wife, Kathy

If you or a loved one are finding it difficult to accept help at home, Burnie Brae Support at Home is here to assist every step of the way. Their caring team can provide personalised support with daily tasks, equipment, and more, helping you maintain independence and enjoy life in your own home.

For more information, contact us and discover how we can make a difference in your life.